Fizzle

I think I want to own a Cafe

See You Next Tuesday

Fuck me ive been lazy.

Jesesu Christo!
Things i have done recently
1. Saw harry potter 7 (tonight, worth every calorie)
2. Went on a cruise
3. found out what Kim Kardashian is famous for.......oh Kim.

Once again dreading going to TAFE,
fuck you Katoomba I hate everything from your train station to the derelicts that walk your streets.

mochCHINO

Shnibble shnobbly fazooka pinkle rabbit whosoozles wizze fatntasia oh bookie willypong zillzlagger pokshnocler fazzomba!

snubble

Today after I caught my return train from Katoomba to Penrith, I was a little surprised at the tone the automatic door thingies you feed your ticket into took with me.
For the first time in about 9 months I actually looked at what it said as I was inserting my ticket.....and it said.......and I still cant believe it........ 'ticket captured'

I KNOW RIGHT??

That machine was unrightfully boasting! as if it had some how lassoed my ticket from me as I was leaving the train instead if me meekly feeding it my ticket.

Oh ticket machine, you have made a powerful enemy

really? i mean seriously?

Its been a while since ive surfed the blog net and Ive just been reminded of why I dont do it very often.
Their are some hysterically lame blogs out there.
I know mine is nothing special but....ahaahahah.......its still leagues above theirs.
Yes its mean, but Ive even added a few of the more religious ones to laugh at when Im feeling down.

Merry christmas!

Today is fathers day.
poor dad, I think that it was I who bought the biggest blip of a present.
My family LOVES games, i mean....LOVES GAMES.
I thought rather than the typical pictionary/cranium lines we usually run along Id try for something a little more abstract-an abomination by the name of Diplomacy- resulting in an
instruction manual as thick as my hand that poor dad has spent the past hour and a half trying (and in my opinion failing) to understand.
He thinks I dont know hes only doing so as to not hurt my feelings, he doesnt understand that if the positions had been reversed I would have hurled it at his head and hour and fifteen minutes ago.

lampost

I find it amusing that the most popular method these days of finding out whether or not somebody likes you anymore is by observing how far you drop down their friends list on facebook.

Calling all sugerdaddies

As I am feeling in such a jolly mood this fine morning I have compiled a list of things I am loving this month.

1. The state of Calafornia (and this is where the sugerdaddy part comes in, Someone take me there please!!!)
2. Athletics. I am finally re- kickstarting my athletics career, signups tonight. Doodle yeah!)
3. The anatomy and physiology component of my massage course. Strange considering it was on last months list of things I hate.
4. My lesbian crush. Jess Origliasso. I think its the tattoes that do it for me. ahhhhhhhhhhhh........shes beautiful
5. Micheal Myers. not Mike, Micheal.
and finally:
6. Not hanging out with friends. Go figure.


This months list of things I dont like:
1. Katy Perry. GODDAMIT SHE JUST RATTLES ME.
2. Stupid reality film shows that are obviously scripted. Keeping up with the Kardasions? I beg you does this show actually enrich anyones life? what are they even famous for????
3. Travelling over 3 hours to go to tafe for and hour and a half of work.
and finally:
4. Made for TV movies............hurumph.

8D

Just me chillin with Arj

........... and why yes Arj of course I will

OH HAPPY DAY!

oh happy happy day!
I bought online tickets to see my favourite comedian in the world today!!!!!
the one and only Arj Barker!!! (He's so cool, I even remembered to Capitilise both his first AND last name)
December 8 oh oh oh oh!!

nargles

I am so very tired
of being only average at everything I do.
Ahhhh what wouldnt I give for once to be the best at something

sneakypuffs.

Today, the ONE DAY, I actually sat down on a public toilet seat instead of hovering above it I sat in pee

geckolegs

Dear god, Ill never understand exactly what goes through some peoples minds when they decide that the person sitting next to them on the train most definately harbours a secret desire to see every photograph of their family history theyve ever taken.

So there I was, innocently reading my brand spankin new Edgar Allen-Poe collection on the way to tafe when the chubby, social-yet-socially-retarded young girl next to me turned and without warning and demanded to know whether i would like to see a photo of her dog (I would also like to note that her breath smelt like stale pancakes)
I humoured her whilst she then led me through endless photos of her dog, her other dog, her 3 cats, her mother, her mothers boyfriend, her mothers engagement party, her brothers birthday party and to round it off nicely- the corset party she had been to on the weekend all the while wondering what horrible things i must have done in my past life to deserve this.
I suppose the thing that bothers me most is the fact ill never be able to erase the latter images from my memory, they appear to have been burnt into my retinas as I still see them when I close my eyes.

I have a new found crush on a man who died in the 1800's.
I dont know why, but yesturday I was suddenly possesed to but the complete collection of Edgar Allen Poe.
Definately the best $30 ive ever spent.


TRUE! nervous, very, very dreadfully nervous I had been and am; but why WILL you say that I am mad? The disease had sharpened my senses, not destroyed, not dulled them. Above all was the sense of hearing acute. I heard all things in the heaven and in the earth. I heard many things in hell. How then am I mad? Hearken! and observe how healthily, how calmly, I can tell you the whole story.
It is impossible to say how first the idea entered my brain, but, once conceived, it haunted me day and night. Object there was none. Passion there was none. I loved the old man. He had never wronged me. He had never given me insult. For his gold I had no desire. I think it was his eye! Yes, it was this! One of his eyes resembled that of a vulture -- a pale blue eye with a film over it. Whenever it fell upon me my blood ran cold, and so by degrees, very gradually, I made up my mind to take the life of the old man, and thus rid myself of the eye for ever.
Now this is the point. You fancy me mad. Madmen know nothing. But you should have seen me. You should have seen how wisely I proceeded -- with what caution -- with what foresight, with what dissimulation, I went to work! I was never kinder to the old man than during the whole week before I killed him. And every night about midnight I turned the latch of his door and opened it oh, so gently! And then, when I had made an opening sufficient for my head, I put in a dark lantern all closed, closed so that no light shone out, and then I thrust in my head. Oh, you would have laughed to see how cunningly I thrust it in! I moved it slowly, very, very slowly, so that I might not disturb the old man's sleep. It took me an hour to place my whole head within the opening so far that I could see him as he lay upon his bed. Ha! would a madman have been so wise as this? And then when my head was well in the room I undid the lantern cautiously -- oh, so cautiously -- cautiously (for the hinges creaked), I undid it just so much that a single thin ray fell upon the vulture eye. And this I did for seven long nights, every night just at midnight, but I found the eye always closed, and so it was impossible to do the work, for it was not the old man who vexed me but his Evil Eye. And every morning, when the day broke, I went boldly into the chamber and spoke courageously to him, calling him by name in a hearty tone, and inquiring how he had passed the night. So you see he would have been a very profound old man, indeed , to suspect that every night, just at twelve, I looked in upon him while he slept.
Upon the eighth night I was more than usually cautious in opening the door. A watch's minute hand moves more quickly than did mine. Never before that night had I felt the extent of my own powers, of my sagacity. I could scarcely contain my feelings of triumph. To think that there I was opening the door little by little, and he not even to dream of my secret deeds or thoughts. I fairly chuckled at the idea, and perhaps he heard me, for he moved on the bed suddenly as if startled. Now you may think that I drew back -- but no. His room was as black as pitch with the thick darkness (for the shutters were close fastened through fear of robbers), and so I knew that he could not see the opening of the door, and I kept pushing it on steadily, steadily.
I had my head in, and was about to open the lantern, when my thumb slipped upon the tin fastening , and the old man sprang up in the bed, crying out, "Who's there?"
I kept quite still and said nothing. For a whole hour I did not move a muscle, and in the meantime I did not hear him lie down. He was still sitting up in the bed, listening; just as I have done night after night hearkening to the death watches in the wall.
Presently, I heard a slight groan, and I knew it was the groan of mortal terror. It was not a groan of pain or of grief -- oh, no! It was the low stifled sound that arises from the bottom of the soul when overcharged with awe. I knew the sound well. Many a night, just at midnight, when all the world slept, it has welled up from my own bosom, deepening, with its dreadful echo, the terrors that distracted me. I say I knew it well. I knew what the old man felt, and pitied him although I chuckled at heart. I knew that he had been lying awake ever since the first slight noise when he had turned in the bed. His fears had been ever since growing upon him. He had been trying to fancy them causeless, but could not. He had been saying to himself, "It is nothing but the wind in the chimney, it is only a mouse crossing the floor," or, "It is merely a cricket which has made a single chirp." Yes he has been trying to comfort himself with these suppositions ; but he had found all in vain. ALL IN VAIN, because Death in approaching him had stalked with his black shadow before him and enveloped the victim. And it was the mournful influence of the unperceived shadow that caused him to feel, although he neither saw nor heard, to feel the presence of my head within the room.
When I had waited a long time very patiently without hearing him lie down, I resolved to open a little -- a very, very little crevice in the lantern. So I opened it -- you cannot imagine how stealthily, stealthily -- until at length a single dim ray like the thread of the spider shot out from the crevice and fell upon the vulture eye.
It was open, wide, wide open, and I grew furious as I gazed upon it. I saw it with perfect distinctness -- all a dull blue with a hideous veil over it that chilled the very marrow in my bones, but I could see nothing else of the old man's face or person, for I had directed the ray as if by instinct precisely upon the damned spot.
And now have I not told you that what you mistake for madness is but over-acuteness of the senses? now, I say, there came to my ears a low, dull, quick sound, such as a watch makes when enveloped in cotton. I knew that sound well too. It was the beating of the old man's heart. It increased my fury as the beating of a drum stimulates the soldier into courage.
But even yet I refrained and kept still. I scarcely breathed. I held the lantern motionless. I tried how steadily I could maintain the ray upon the eye. Meantime the hellish tattoo of the heart increased. It grew quicker and quicker, and louder and louder, every instant. The old man's terror must have been extreme! It grew louder, I say, louder every moment! -- do you mark me well? I have told you that I am nervous: so I am. And now at the dead hour of the night, amid the dreadful silence of that old house, so strange a noise as this excited me to uncontrollable terror. Yet, for some minutes longer I refrained and stood still. But the beating grew louder, louder! I thought the heart must burst. And now a new anxiety seized me -- the sound would be heard by a neighbour! The old man's hour had come! With a loud yell, I threw open the lantern and leaped into the room. He shrieked once -- once only. In an instant I dragged him to the floor, and pulled the heavy bed over him. I then smiled gaily, to find the deed so far done. But for many minutes the heart beat on with a muffled sound. This, however, did not vex me; it would not be heard through the wall. At length it ceased. The old man was dead. I removed the bed and examined the corpse. Yes, he was stone, stone dead. I placed my hand upon the heart and held it there many minutes. There was no pulsation. He was stone dead. His eye would trouble me no more.
If still you think me mad, you will think so no longer when I describe the wise precautions I took for the concealment of the body. The night waned, and I worked hastily, but in silence.
I took up three planks from the flooring of the chamber, and deposited all between the scantlings. I then replaced the boards so cleverly so cunningly, that no human eye -- not even his -- could have detected anything wrong. There was nothing to wash out -- no stain of any kind -- no blood-spot whatever. I had been too wary for that.
When I had made an end of these labours, it was four o'clock -- still dark as midnight. As the bell sounded the hour, there came a knocking at the street door. I went down to open it with a light heart, -- for what had I now to fear? There entered three men, who introduced themselves, with perfect suavity, as officers of the police. A shriek had been heard by a neighbour during the night; suspicion of foul play had been aroused; information had been lodged at the police office, and they (the officers) had been deputed to search the premises.
I smiled, -- for what had I to fear? I bade the gentlemen welcome. The shriek, I said, was my own in a dream. The old man, I mentioned, was absent in the country. I took my visitors all over the house. I bade them search -- search well. I led them, at length, to his chamber. I showed them his treasures, secure, undisturbed. In the enthusiasm of my confidence, I brought chairs into the room, and desired them here to rest from their fatigues, while I myself, in the wild audacity of my perfect triumph, placed my own seat upon the very spot beneath which reposed the corpse of the victim.
The officers were satisfied. My MANNER had convinced them. I was singularly at ease. They sat and while I answered cheerily, they chatted of familiar things. But, ere long, I felt myself getting pale and wished them gone. My head ached, and I fancied a ringing in my ears; but still they sat, and still chatted. The ringing became more distinct : I talked more freely to get rid of the feeling: but it continued and gained definitiveness -- until, at length, I found that the noise was NOT within my ears.
No doubt I now grew VERY pale; but I talked more fluently, and with a heightened voice. Yet the sound increased -- and what could I do? It was A LOW, DULL, QUICK SOUND -- MUCH SUCH A SOUND AS A WATCH MAKES WHEN ENVELOPED IN COTTON. I gasped for breath, and yet the officers heard it not. I talked more quickly, more vehemently but the noise steadily increased. I arose and argued about trifles, in a high key and with violent gesticulations; but the noise steadily increased. Why WOULD they not be gone? I paced the floor to and fro with heavy strides, as if excited to fury by the observations of the men, but the noise steadily increased. O God! what COULD I do? I foamed -- I raved -- I swore! I swung the chair upon which I had been sitting, and grated it upon the boards, but the noise arose over all and continually increased. It grew louder -- louder -- louder! And still the men chatted pleasantly , and smiled. Was it possible they heard not? Almighty God! -- no, no? They heard! -- they suspected! -- they KNEW! -- they were making a mockery of my horror! -- this I thought, and this I think. But anything was better than this agony! Anything was more tolerable than this derision! I could bear those hypocritical smiles no longer! I felt that I must scream or die! -- and now -- again -- hark! louder! louder! louder! LOUDER! --
"Villains!" I shrieked, "dissemble no more! I admit the deed! -- tear up the planks! -- here, here! -- it is the beating of his hideous heart!"

idhdhcjsdcnjkdsncjdncinciuenciernc- gee mal!

Dear women everywhere.
I finally figured out the trick to losing those few final pounds you just CANT shake off!
Its so simple you don't have to do a thing!
All you need to do is...... develop an agonizing kidney infection that leaves you writhing in pain for............ oh i don't know........a week or so!
you are in so much pain that your appetite just goes..........PAZOW! ITS REALLY THAT SIMPLE!!!!!!









* side effects may include nausea, vomiting, acute pain in lower back and abdominal area, traces of blood in urine, intense pain whilst urinating, high fevers, possible admission into hospital and angry/scary nurses

Cee Uou Next Tuesday

Dear August.
Please hurry up and arrive
Your sister July has gone on for way too long, and I miss your sweet face.
Sincerely
Your biggest fan
Caitlin-rhiannon

Pie = 2.4 squared

Today as I was racing hysterically round my house to find my gym shoes before the actual gym itself closed, I came across my old pair of converse I normally save for slouching round the house.

In a state of blind panic I quickly decided that these were the best option and would have to suffice.

Half an hour later as I was jogging along going nowhere on the treadmill on a never before experimented incline of 5.0, I couldn't help but notice people looking at me with disturbingly murderous glances, feeling self conscious I turned up my ipod and stared determinedly ahead using the placebo that if I couldn't see them then they couldn't see me.

5 minutes later when the glances had not yet dissipated I thought to myself that perhaps I was making to much noise running, and thus decided to run on the balls of my feet instead, painful for me but would hopefully have a calming effect on the mob of angry gym goers that were sure to be gathering at the foot of my treadmill any second, I gathered that they were most likely just sharpening their pitchforks first.

It wasn't until my playlist had sung its last song on my ipod that I heard the noise I was making in its fullest extent.

Unused to the incline on my treadmill and the additional weight of my converse, I had been dragging my feet along the base of the treadmill.
But not just any ordinary dragging: long, extended, wailing, earsplitting drags, woeful to behold which combined with my attempt at running on the balls of my feet (which resulted in a noise not unlike a angry RHINO running on a treadmill) I sounded more like a furiously stampeding herd of elephants than a small, slightly built girl of 18 years.

nargles

WHAT is up with the amount of him-bos Ive seen prancing around these days?
I really think there is something decidedly unnatractive about the protein-shaked, steroid humping losers you see eye fucking themeselves in the gym.
ECCCKKKKK its so patheticcc.
I wonder which candy boy started it, Taylor Lautner or Zac Efron?

nargles

Nibble my gibblets?

I am so very hungry that i have googled random Chuck Norris facts to make me feel better.
And they do.
If one of Chuck Norris's roundhouse kicks can power my homeland for an entire night then surely i can go for a few more hours without fantasizing about smarties.
Oh my god. HOW OLD AM I??????
I shudder to think that my wildest fantasies these days involve wading naked into a swimming pool filled with smarties and red licorice.
Hopefully I'll mature into a teenager in my 20's.

Anywho, here goes......


* Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
* The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
* The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
* There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
* Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
* There are no weapons of mass destruction. Just Chuck Norris.
* A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
* Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
* If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
* French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

Dexter

I mean honestly. Does anybody really eat doughnuts for anything other than the icing?

easy as 123

Yesterday as I was walking back to my car from buying tickets too see Eclipse (:D), I happened- much to my displeasure- to run into Mitch and Matty returning from whatever personal vendetta they had just been on.
Now I adore both Mitch AND Matty, but running into Matty whilst he is surrounded by friends is probably the equivalent of smearing your self esteem with your own blood and jumping into an enclosed tank of hungry sharks.
Whilst i sad trembling with fear in my car, first my hair was picked apart, then my skin and then even the fact that i was wearing gloves.
I left a few minutes later feeling like the ugliest person in the world and contemplating jumping of the hawksbury river bridge with weights attached to my legs.

Whippets live under my bed

MY WISHLIST FOR THE DAY

1. I wish that i could fly- preferably without the need for a brromstick, just like voldemort
2. I wish Hogwarts was real

oh dearie dearie me. No turtle stew for you sinorita.

Today is Tim Burton day for Matthew and Caitlin.

Oh. Oh. Oh.

About half an hour ago i noticed a dull ache in my crotch. The pain continued to grow until finally I had to excuse myself from our movie of choice for the time to go and seek confirmation of the thing i was beginning to dread.

The painful truth.

I.HAVE.AN.INGROWN.HAIR

from my last brazillion.

In places where one should NEVER develop ingrown hairs.

So here i am now, waddling around and trying to pass of my ailment to matty as a leg cramp.

It hurts, oh the pain. ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...... I feel very sorry for me.

This could really impact on my duck feeding abilities.

Would my beloved ducks still eat my bread if they knew i was thus tainted?

Today is sunday the 27th of June 2010. 11.24pm.

Today has been a good day for me.
Tired and weary of bumming around, depressing people with my more so depressing attitude i have decided to branch out. Yes i am no longer a sturdy wall flower, beautiful caterpillar emerging from its cocoon.

Gone are the days where i spend the most part of my day watching re-runs of sailor moon whilst chain drinking mug after mug of peppermint tea before slinking into the bathroom for a further four hours to wallow over my uneven eyebrows. I am welcoming the future months of constant study, gym sessions and generally reconnecting with the world. Hoorah!
I am thus starting this blog to give me something to do on these lonely, lonely evenings.

Regardless of whether or not anybody reads this, i still think its more constructive than watching back to back episodes if ren and stimpy into the early hours of the morn.